So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
