Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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