If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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