and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
