I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's blow job season.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
