the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
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I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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