We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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