There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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