very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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