the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize