it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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