i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You smell like stripper and shame
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
