woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
