Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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