Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
