I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
