I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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