I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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