I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
