she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
