I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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