you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
