You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
