i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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