Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I believe in your delicious
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize