i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
