O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
