I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
