And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
