you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
