Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
