Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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