They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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