I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
