Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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