I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
