did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.