It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow