That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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