We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
