The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
You canβt homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize