just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Randomize
