Please, let me fuck your mom
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I touched a dick in church today
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
