Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
