She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
