I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
