Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
