i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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