Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When are your genitals available?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
