I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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