Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
