And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
