one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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