I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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