i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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