god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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