the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
