I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
