Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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