Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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