I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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